While you do feel bad for making your mother wait for her ride, another minute while you make a phone call won't hurt her. You ring into work and the voice that answers is distinctly familiar. Strangely, your boss answers the phone herself. She doesn't say hello, but instead just speaks your last name as a greeting.
"Yes?" is all you can reply.
Your boss says, "You're due at work today."
"Well," you begin, "about that..."
She interrupts you. "We've been watching you. We know you're not sick; you're just lazy. We know your mom bought those plane tickets in February and that you never scheduled time off. We know that you leave the seat down when you pee in public restrooms. We know all about you."
You, of course, are stunned. "Do you mean, like, the royal we? Or is there a group of people watching me urinate?"
"Be at work in 30 minutes," she answers, "or we'll kill a puppy and tell everybody you did it."
Ye gods! What will you do?