You rummage through your brain for a quick lie. Hurry, he's looking at you!
"Listen, Steven," he says, "if you're trying to think of an excuse for why you're late, you can just forget about it. I don't care why you weren't here, just that you were not here."
Finally, you get an idea. "Yes, sir," you say. "It's true that I, Steven, was late today. You should make sure to tell personnel that I, Steven, was late today. Also let them know that Steven thinks you're a fat ugly bastard." You walk off to your desk to start working. Within fifteen minutes, Steve from three cubicles down is escorted out by security. You never liked that guy, anyway.