Now that you've got bodied starting to accumulate, you suppose you should do something about them. Burying them seems like a lot of work without a lot of security. Dumping the bodies in the river never seems to work out on television. You don't even have a saw to chop them up. You're running the choice through your mind when your eye happens to stop on your paper shredder, giving you a devious idea.
Things are going great; you've shredded all the extremeties and are working on your second torso, with only the heads left afterwards, when your shredder makes a sick grinding noise and comes to a halt. Oh no! A bone was gotten stuck in the gears! You manage to pry the ossein piece free, but it's too late; your tool is already damaged. Now what are you going to do? How will you shred your important documents? You awake in a panic and go check on your paper shredder.