"I challenge you to a game of one-on-one basketball," you say to the cat.
He looks at you and blinks. "Do I look like I can hold a basketball?"
"Nope," you say. He doesn't. He's perhaps the same size as a basketball and doesn't have hands. You're going to destroy him.
You meet the cat on the court. He immediately takes the ball and dribbles past you, but you're able to slap the shot away as he shoots. In the end, you beat him by a score of 11 to 7. "How you like me now, Mister Kitty Cat?" you gloat. Russell, not impressed by your attitude, gives you a swat on the leg, drawing blood. You collapse on the ground, letting the basketball roll into the street. "How could you do this to me?" you cry. "Why did you do this?" Russell only walks away, leaving you hurt and heartbroken. It's a mercy when you finally awake.