"This is Abraham Lincoln." You frown. You heard that this guy got shot in a theatre, and not recently.
"Is that some codename?" you ask.
"I don't recall giving you permission to ask questions," the voice says.
This doesn't satisfy you. "Look, I don't care if you're some bizarre Lincoln-clone or a time-travelling Abe who survived the shooting and likes to kill Lions for kicks. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."