Shut him in the bedroom and leave.

He does seem unhappy about being stuck in there, but is it really worth wrestling a claw-laden furnado to protect your ratty curtains and second-hand furniture? Not a bit. You say, "Sorry, Mr. Kitty," and close the door.

As the door shuts, you hear him call out, "Mr. Kitty was my fath..." but you're already walking away. By the time you reach the prodigal mobile phone, you can hear him shredding your bedroom. In fact, he's really raising hell in there. It doesn't sound like an angry cat in your home so much as it does a construction crew.

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